Student Insight!

The following questions and answers were (supposedly) collated from a 2002 SAT tests given in a state close to Texas, I will not state which one here, to 16 year old students!
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What is the Fibula
A: A small lie.

Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is its characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What does the word “benign” mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.

Systems Beat Effort, Every Time!

In business and in life, systems beat effort every time.

Most entrepreneurs confuse effort, activity and motion with progress. The key to making money, building a business and satisfying your customers is NOT frantic motion, but a few simple things done well.

Many of us have observed that the key to keeping our promises is to make fewer of them. In business, the same principle applies.New or young e

Well-run businesses rarely scramble or improvise. They have systems and plans for creating great products and delivering them at a fair price. Great companies understand their customers, sometimes even better than the customers know themselves! World-class companies do a few things, do them extremely well, and generate profits from their ability to impress (and keep!) their customers.

New or young entrepreneurs get caught by the lure of the “next big thing”. They are impressed with innovation and can’t wait to expand or grow, and they forget the basics of serving customers and developing life-long partnerships.

Take time to get organized. Set up automatic tracking and record-keeping systems. Stay in touch with your best customers and ask them for feedback about your company. Sam Walton used to say that his best ideas came from talking with stock-boys, check-out clerks and people on the loading docks. In Tom Peter’s phrase, he “managed by walking around”.

We can learn from that. Slow down and achieve more. Simplify.Focus. Do one thing, do it better than anyone in the world, and your fortune is assured.

Will Rogers Home Spun Humor

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known.  Enjoy the following:

1.  Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

2.  Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3.  There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman…neither works.

4.  Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5.  Always drink upstream from the herd.

6.  If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7.  The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

8.  Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

9.  If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

10.  Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back in.

11.  After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER…

First — Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second — The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third — Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

Fourth — You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Fifth — One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Sixth — Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Seventh — Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And finally — If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

The Wonderful Magic of Thinking Really BIG!

There is something uniquely human, and very important, about looking to the skies. From the beginning of time, wise men and woman have encouraged us to “look to the hills, from whence cometh my strength”, and we all know the call of “distant horizons”.

Henry Thoreau talked about marching to the beat of our own drum, “no matter how feint or far away”. Humans have always wondered what’s beyond the horizon, over the hill, or around the bend. We long to see farther, go further and do more, and that is certainly part of what motivated the astronauts aboard the Columbia, and its part of why we call them heroes.

And yet in our daily lives, too often we get bogged down in the trivia of every-day things. Now, of course, life requires that we do our daily work. Taking care of the house, running the errands and paying the bills are not trivial things! They are the routines that make modern life possible. We rely on each other to be dependable and to complete our assigned responsibilities.

But, as the old song asks, “is that all there is?” We know the answer, and it troubles us.

Sometimes, we need to step back and lift our eyes to the hills and beyond. Sometimes we need to ask the big questions, and contemplate the big answers.

In 1959, David Schwartz wrote a book called, “The Magic of Thinking BIG” that has changed thousands of lives. It’s written in an “old” style and there’s no mystery or drama in it, just the truth that we NEED big dreams. There is something in us that needs a larger destiny, a greater purpose.

There are three very difficult things that all true heroes balanced in their lives:
1. They did their work and fulfilled the ordinary responsibilities of life as mature adults.

2. They also had the ability to hear and honor a big dream. Amelia Earhart heard the call. John Glenn heard a similar call. Teddy Roosevelt never stopped exploring the great American west. Helen Keller could see more clearly than most.

3. They were able to take action in the direction of their dreams. They didn’t just look at the horizon and wonder, they got up and went.

I recently shared my big dream with some of my clients and associates to combine my coaching practice with out door adventures.  It’s my dream to set up semi-annual adventure trips that combine business growth seminars with outdoor adventures like Fly Fishing, White Water Rafting, Mountain Hiking, Trail Riding, etc.

We responded to President Kennedy’s challenge to go to the moon. We LOVE over-coming obstacles, solving problems, making a difference! We enjoy being part of something meaningful and significant. We are creatures who naturally look to the skies, the horizons and ask “what’s next?”

What’s your BIG idea? What challenges and excites you? What takes your breath away, keeps you up at night, makes you smile all day long? Sometimes it’s “distant and far away”, vague or fuzzy, but it’s in there!  Find it, dust it off, honor it. Pursue it! People will join you and things will unfold in amazing ways. Lift your eyes, dream your dreams, take action! It’s what makes life worth living!

Thursday Humor: Windows, Texas Edition

It has come to my attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS TEXAS EDITION may have been shipped outside of Texas. If you have one of these, you will need help understanding the commands. The TEXAS EDITION can be recognized by the unique opening screen that says, “WINDERS,” with a background picture of Willie Nelson over a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled “Outhouse”
My Computer is called “This Dern Contraption”
Your Internet connection is called “Good Ol’ Boys”
Control Panel is known as “The Dashboard”
Hard Drive is referred to as “4-Wheel Drive”
Floppies are “Them little bitty plastic thangs”
Instead of an error message, “Duct Tape” pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS  EDITION:
Cancel…………stopdat
Reset………….try’er agin
Yes……………yep
No…………….nope
Find…………..hunt fer it
Go to………….over yonder
Back…………..back yonder
Help…………..hep me out here
Stop…………..kwitit (WHOA!)
Start………….crank’er up
Settings……….settins
Programs……… stuff at duz stuff
Documents……. .stuff ah done did

We regret any inconvenience this may have caused. If you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y’all!

What’s the Plan?

Most businesses have clear, written business plans, but it is amazing that so many professionals and entrepreneurs neglect this vital task.

The following is an example of the contrast between two professionals who have great skills and a desire to do well (make money) by providing superb service to their clients.  Both have earned solid reputations in their field, and both understand that their professional “practice” is really a business and must be run as such.

The difference is that one has a plan, and the other does not. The results could not be more dramatic.

One knows the market, and has a plan, a budget and a time-line to contact prospects once a month for 12 consecutive months. The other does not. One has a variety of price points and a “funnel” so new or hesitant prospects can sample the work with minimal risk. They offer a money-back guarantee. The other client has none of this. They offer their services at their hourly rate, take it or leave it.

One has already scheduled personal time off throughout 2010, and it is marked on calendar in their office. This client also has a written budget for new equipment, up-grading their office, and hiring people to help with over-flow work.  The other client has a “budget in my head, sort of”, but nothing in writing.

Which client has created the best conditions for success?  Which client is likely to make more money, attract more business, have more time off, less anxiety, and more satisfaction at the end of the year?

Create and use a written business plan. It’s your road-map to success.

Thursday Humor: Perspective

Life is all about making the most of what we find all around us. Recently, I found these “Home Spun” bits of wisdom and I thought it was worth sharing. May it give you a chuckle, and more importantly, may it bring you joy!

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

It’s the second mouse that gets the cheese.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

We could learn a lot from crayons…Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, and some have weird names, but they all have to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today…

May you always have Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care.

Tracking for Results

I had a particularly important conversation with a client this week. He is the second generation of a wonderful business that his father and mother built and he is continuing to grow with annual sales of over $10 million. One of his challenges at times is he’s unclear about what his MOST IMPORTANT results or outcomes need to be.

Should he focus on sales or leadership? Is he supposed to be the visionary, or should he be more hands on with line staff to keep everything under control?

Every task has one or two KEY outcomes and it is absolutely vital that you know what they are.

In sales, your key outcome is almost certainly the dollar volume of sales you make during each reporting period. But to make that number, you have to know what the key factors are!

Over time, do you get more and better results from finding new markets or from servicing past clients? Are you more productive attending trade shows, or having lunch with your biggest customer? Does advertising work, or are your sales built through long-lasting relationships?

The answer will vary by industry, by company, and according to your individual skills, personality and interests. Consequently, it is absolutely essential that you KNOW what your key results are, and the BEST way to achieve them.

Keep records, talk with colleagues, read, listen to audio programs and take classes, and most important of all, take time to analyze what works best for you!

Testimony From St Louis Courts

Over the years, there have been many collections of absurd and silly exchanges in courts. The following are ostensibly from actual records in St Louis. I make absolutely no claims about their accuracy or legitimacy. Enjoy…

Judge: I know you, don’t I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.
Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.
————————————–

From a defendant representing himself . .. .
Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I allegedly stole your purse?
Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse.
Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.
—————————————

Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?
Defendant: No, sir, I’m the guy who stole the chickens.
—————————————

Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?
Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.
Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution.
Juror: That’s not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth, too.
—————————————-

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long.
Judge: Can’t they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.
—————————————–

Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: And why is that?
Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.
Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have a comment on the defendant’s motion?
Public Defender: I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening.

March Into April

Spring has arrived in Texas – our trees have begun budding and the blue bonnets and Indian paint brushes will be coming into full bloom soon. Along with the blue bonnets there will be hordes of people out with cameras taking family portraits surrounded by a sea of blue and their all beauty. When I go for my morning walk/run the sun is just breaking over the horizon as apposed to the total darkness of winter and I notice a LOT more birds singing! Spring is here!

That is important for many reasons, but most important is that the return of spring means it’s time to take a look at the road ahead.

There are three times a year when it seems natural to pause, review the past and preview the future. The most common and I think the LEAST helpful, is New Year’s. Now, your experience may be different, but for me New Year’s is too caught up with year-end business and holiday celebrations to plan effectively. And most tragically, it’s cold and dark outside! Who wants to design a life in the cold rain of winter!?

Another good time to review what’s working, note what’s not working, and plan your future is the fall. In September, we’re back from summer vacations, school is starting, and there’s a sense of “settling in” for the winter, with things to do, projects to complete and work to be done.

The Spring, however, is my favorite and I’ve found it is the most powerful, most natural, and most optimistic time to plot my future.

In the Spring, the days are getting longer and warmer, and there’s a sense of “buzz”. There’s energy and enthusiasm, everything is turning green, everything is growing, and anything is possible! Now is the time to SEIZE THE DAY, to seize the opportunities, to dream big dreams and develop strategies for success!

I know, Spring is a time for love, for flying kites and being playful – and I take that seriously as well! – but it’s also the time to design your life. It’s the time to ask big questions, to dare big dreams, and take big risks. At New Year’s, everything is dead and even the weather is deadening. The Fall is a time for practicality, for buckling down and working hard, for raking leaves, putting on the storm windows and getting ready for winter. But Spring is the time for adventure! Spring is the time for dreams and amazing, wonderful, astonishing visions of the future.

Don’t waste the glory of Spring! Use these longer days! Use the extra light to illuminate the future you really want! Use the energy the sun is throwing at us to pick up the pace, to embolden your step, and to “spring forward!”

This Spring, take time for yourself! Take time to get away with a notebook or planner, and get organized. Write down your dreams, and create paths to their realization. You CAN get from “here” to “there”; it only requires an effective strategy, a bit of time, and some hard work! This Spring is the time to make it happen.

The Simple Wisdom of Yogi Berra

Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra is a former Major League Baseball player and manager. Berra is widely regarded as one of the greatest catchers in baseball history. He is also known for his tendency toward malapropism and fracturing the English language.. The following are a few examples.

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.

He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.

How can you think and hit at the same time?

I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.

I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

I never said most of the things I said.

I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.

I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.

I’m a lucky guy and I’m happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.

I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

If people don’t want to come out to the ball park, nobody’s gonna stop ‘em.

If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.

If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

In baseball, you don’t know nothing.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.

It gets late early out there.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

It’s like deja-vu, all over again.

And the quote most people have heard or used sometime… It ain’t over till it’s over!

Just Get STARTED!

This weekend I had one of those “blinding flashes of the obvious” – times when something jumps up and I laugh at myself for not having seen what’s been in front of me all along. Here’s the distinction I finally “got”:

“We don’t need more good ideas; we need better execution of the ideas we already have!”

I was talking with a member of one of my network groups about where we get our best ideas. We talked about marketing experts, about websites and technology resources, about all the books we’ve read. It was a wonderful discussion, but I started getting restless ecause the list seemed endless.

Finally, I got that flash of the obvious! We already have LOTS of pretty good ideas! They may not be the most brilliant or best ideas in the world, but they aren’t totally stupid, either! Fundamentally, I pretty much know what I “ought” to be doing. The problem is not with getting more and better ideas. The problem is in the execution.

The problem, as always, is GETTING STUFF DONE!

Many people are familiar with the distinction that perfection is often the enemy of excellence. In trying to do something “perfectly” we procrastinate. We wait until we have all the information and all the tools we might need, and as a result the job never gets done at all! The objective for most projects is not perfection, but excellence.

Here’s another distinction that is similar: “Best practices” are often the enemy of “good enough” practices!

In trying to find out how the experts do things, and modeling ourselves after the most effective people in our industry or profession, too often we end up never getting started.

Yes, of course, we want to be smart and efficient and use the best techniques we can find. Of course we want to be “ahead of the curve”; there’s nothing wrong with that! (I am certainly a fan of education and learning and coaching!) But sometimes looking for the “BEST” simply becomes an excuse to avoid getting started.

Most of the time, I know the next step. Most of the time, I have an idea about how to proceed. Most of the time, I KNOW what I need to do!

Only rarely do I truly need new ideas or expert advice before I can take the next step. Only rarely must I read a book or find the perfect website in order to get started. Most of the time what I really need is to take what I already know, add a bit of time and effort (usually called “work”), and GET STARTED!

I believe it is Tony Robbins who says that EVERY action gets some kind of result and that even inefficient action will eventually get positive results. Of course, we want to be as smart and productive as possible – no one argues about that – but often the key to achievement is not a new tool or better information or superior talent. Often the key to achievement is simply using what we have and out-working the competition.

Start wherever you are today, with whatever you’ve got, and DO something with it! If you can do something brilliant that’swonderful, but get started! And if you can’t do something brilliant, then just “keep on keeping on.” One day at a time, step by step, do what you can and repeat it until you reach the top of the mountain, until that wonderful day when your friends wake up and are amazed at how “lucky” you are!

The Ultimate Nasty Virus

If you receive an email entitled “Badtimes,” delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to play.

It will re-calibrate your refrigerator’s settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

It will program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law’s number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

It will drink all your beer.

It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the “Badtimes” message is opened in a Windows environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.

It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

Three of Life’s Essential Truths

Recently, I was reminded of three of life’s most powerful truths that I want with you.

Truth #1: “How we live our days is how we live our lives.”

This quote from Annie Dillard is one of the most important things I know. I talk with people all the time who say that “some day” they’ll create the life they truly want, but they always have an excuse why they can’t do it now.

Obviously, some dreams require patience while we move toward them, but many of our most important dreams take no time at all! You can have them TODAY! Do you want a better relationship? Do you want to be more fit, have more energy, have more fun, or be more relaxed? Do you want more time with your kids or your parents? Would your ideal life involve more humor, more laughter, more love? Why are you waiting?

Reach out to someone you love. Read a good book. Go for a run, or get a massage. Tell a joke, hold someone’s hand, send them a card. What are you waiting for? These things don’t cost a penny, and they are available right now.

Whatever your ideal looks like, move toward it. Take control! Set your alarm clock, adjust your schedule, and move toward your ideal life. The way you live your days is ultimately the way you live your whole life!

Truth #2: “We become what we think about most.”

This quote has been credited to many people, from Aristotle to Marianne Williamson, so I don’t know who said it first, but it is TRUE!

The things we think about become the themes, the focus, and the center of our lives, and we control the things we think about, every day.

Right now, as you read this, think about the color blue. Now, think about elephants. Now, think about being sick, or being poor. See? You can think about love or success or fun or health or anything else you focus your thoughts upon. Is that all there is to “success”? Of course not! But focusing your thoughts on the things that enrich your life and make you happy can’t hurt, either.

The things we think about most will surely influence the direction of our lives. Choose wisely!

Truth #3: “To have more, you must first become more.”

This is a wonderful quote from Jim Rohn.

Alcoholics Anonymous defines insanity as “doing the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result”, and yet that’s what many of us do every day. We go to work with the same skills and the same attitudes we had last year, hoping for a different outcome. Or, we talk to our kids with the same tone of voice and using the same words, but hoping for a different response. That is crazy!

To change your outer life, first change your inner life. Improve your skills. Read more and better books. Take classes. Listen to tapes. Get a coach or talk with experts. Take notes. Try a new way, or a new approach.

The biggest challenges in life are not to be successful in business or to become famous, or to win first prize in some contest. Those things are fun and valuable, too, but the BIG pieces in life are living well, fulfilling our potential, and making a difference.

Don’t wait for success, and don’t wait for tomorrow! Live your life the way you want to live it. You are in charge of your schedule. You are in charge of who you hug, how much you smile, what you think about, and how much you learn. Of all the creatures on earth, only humans get to choose how we will live our lives. Don’t blow it! Live well. Focus on the things that enrich your life. Learn. Grow. Every day, be happy.

Please Wait for the Beep

Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:

10. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity and don’t need

their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine – this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling – and I’ll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn’t lend me enough money.  If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I’ll call you soon. If you leave a “sexy” message, I’ll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:

1.  Hello, you’ve reached Jim and Sonya. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy.  Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right… real slowly. So leave a message, and when we’re done brushing our teeth, we’ll call you back.

The Power in Positive Self-Direction

Last week one of my clients noted that while he’s achieved a great deal in life, he has never been comfortable setting goals. He doesn’t use written goals and he has never found goal-setting workshops and programs very helpful. I don’t think he’s alone in that.

Many people need to achieve more and go further, but traditional goal-setting exercises don’t work for them. This comes up frequently in coaching – many people who use written goals also hire a coach for additional support, while people who do not use written goals often hire a coach as an alternative.

What I’ve noticed over time is that regardless of their attitude toward goal-setting, highly effective people ALWAYS has a powerful sense of “Positive Self-Direction.”

They know where they are going and how to get there.

Other variables are all over the map. Some high achievers have advanced degrees, others do not. Some are rich, while others are broke. A few have a clear vision of the future, but most work day-to-day. The key difference that seems to make all the difference is that Highly effective people know where they are going!

They have a positive sense that they are in charge of their own lives. They take full responsibility for their schedules, their attitudes, and the details of their lives. Whether their goal is far in the future, or as near as next weekend, they know what they want and they take action to make it happen.

Some people are blessed with vision that lets them see many years in advance. Some even have a life-time passion, although most focus on more short-term goals, but the one thing successful people always have in common is that they take Positive Daily Action. (This is the true meaning of “PDA” – not that Palm Pilot(TM) that we used to have!).

High achievers decide, in advance, to get tickets for Saturday’s game, or to go on a family outing. High achievers decide, in advance, to maximize their retirement savings. High achievers decide, in advance, to take care of their health, to spend time reading to their children, or planning a trip to Europe.

The key is not that high achievers necessarily have a sense of mission, but that on a daily basis, they know what they want and where they are going.

Most people do not make these decisions. After dinner, they wonder, “What’s on television tonight?” Or on Friday night they ask, “What are we doing this weekend”, or worse, they ask, “what do I HAVE to do this weekend?” Too many people drift through life rather than setting their own course and running their own ship.

To achieve more, decide what you want and determine that today – not tomorrow or next week or “someday” but TODAY - you will take action to make it happen. Want to double your income? Make an extra call or take some other action, but begin today.

Want to lose weight, start a business or enrich your family life? Decide what you want and take some positive action to make it happen. Then, do it again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.

The old saying that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” is still true. Creating and living the life you want is a fairly simple matter – not easy, but simple. Decide what you want in your life, and go after it.

Every day, take some positive action, no matter how small. Every morning remind yourself of your values, your direction, your desires, and take a moment to commit to an action that will move you in that direction.

Thursday’s Humor. So “WHO” really is on first!

One of the most famous baseball comedy acts to ever take place was the following humorous exchange between Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. The words alone cannot do it justice. The skit was originally done on the radio live (each & every time) until the legendary duo later included it on The Naughty Nineties compilation.

The general premise behind the exchange has Abbott traveling with Costello to New York to join the Yankee’s baseball team as the manager as long as Costello is on the team. However, before they get to New York, Costello wants Abbott to give him the name of all the players on the team…

Note: Since the above that words alone cannot do it justice, use the URL below to listen to a complete audio of the original “Who’s on First?”

http://bit.ly/17CFam

Who Are Your Customers?

We laugh at the compliment that someone could “even sell ice in Alaska”, but in fact, that is rarely true. No matter how good the ice, in some markets, it’s a tough sell.

In their enthusiasm, entrepreneurs often fail to ask hard questions about who is going to buy their products, and whether there are enough customers willing to buy at a reasonable profit.

Some great products are simply no longer in demand. Buggy whips and horse blankets come to mind. Other products are highly prized, but are out of reach for most people – luxury yachts and private aircraft might be examples.

I believe Psychologists provide a tremendous service but many of the people in that profession are impacted by a perceived value.  No one questions that most therapists are superbly trained, and that many people could benefit from their skills. The problem is price, availability and perception of value.

In a society where “talk is cheap”, and there continues to be a bias against counseling, many therapists cannot fill their practices and make a living. Both the therapists, and our society, suffer as a result, but from a business standpoint, the problem is clear.

Not enough customers value the service highly enough to buy it, period!

As a business owner or manager, here are four questions you should ask at least once a year, or every time you review your business strategies:

1.   Who, exactly, are my primary customers?

2.   Where are they and how can I reach them?

3.   Do they understand and need the benefits I provide?

4.   Are there enough of them and will they buy at a price that permits a  profit?

Unless you can answer these questions, the best products and services in the world will not be enough to make your business successful. Focus on the customer!

Qantas Maintenance Logs

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P – Problem the pilots entered in the log.

S – Corrective action taken by the mechanics.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.

S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks causes throttle levers to stick.

S: That’s what they’re there for!

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.

S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a  piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

Thursday Humor: New Office Terms

I left the cubicle nation several years ago and struck out on my own so I am free to share a touch of mischief with the following “New Office Terms”. They certainly made me smile, and in these stressful times, a bit of laughter in the work place is certainly a good thing.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people obtain success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and deciding whose fault it was.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or makes a sudden noise in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web “error message 404″ meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.

STRESS MASTER: A person who thrives on causing stress in their co-workers.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.